On Herbs and Holy Saturday

It started out as a few store bought plants. I bought them in early February as a pre-birthday gift to myself to enjoy on my back porch. Herbs that I hoped would one day add flavor to food eaten around the table with people I love. And yet while they haven't yet made it to the kitchen, they have taught me a lot, these herbs. They have taught me that I don't have to be in control of things for life to happen. I don't have to force it. There is much that is, in fact, up to me- I make sure they are watered every day (which has been no small task for me to remember) and make sure they get just enough but not too much sunlight. But there is so much that isn't up to me. That may even happen in spite of me. And I have realized coming out to check on these plants every day that that is what you call grace. That it doesn't all depend on us. Life is renewed and beauty comes from dirt. Hope is persistent and flowers blooms when you least expect it. Many days they look the same as the day before but oh those days where you come out to see that a new stalk has sprung up seemingly over night or that a flower has bloomed that you didn't see coming! Who knew cilantro made pretty white flowers? Many times I have found myself laughing at loud on those mornings. Laughing at myself, that I still find it amazing that Mother Nature knows what she is doing without me telling her. 

Gazing at these beauties as I lay in my hammock this morning, I thought for a brief moment I would love to have a time lapse camera to see how fast they are growing. To see their progress. But I realize this is me wanting to control them. This is me being uncomfortable with things I don't understand. This is me being impatient and trying to force the process. So I let go and simply appreciate their beauty. I simply trust that they will continue to grow even if I don't understand how. I will allow myself to be surprised by the newness with which they greet me every morning. I will continue to trust in grace. 

Today is Holy Saturday, which is what we might call an in between time. A time of waiting, which has never been my strong suit. A time where, in the words of John O'Donohue, "the old is not old enough to have died away and the new is still too young to be born." It is a time of acknowledging that some things are out of our control and we just have to wait them out while trusting that just because we are being still, doesn't mean God is still. Because God is always there, even in the tomb, working new life out of death, bringing redemption out of betrayal, promising us that this isn't the end of the story. 

So wherever you are today, whatever season of life or in between time you may be in, may you be able to let go and trust that you don't have to work so hard for life to happen. You can do your part but you don't have to do all the parts. Answers will come when they are meant to come. Growth will happen when it's meant to happen. And we don't have to fight. We don't have to control or plan or worry or work our way to Sunday. It will come no matter what. All we have to do is wait. To rest. To let go and let God do what God does best- create new life out of the dirt. 

Happy Holy Saturday...

Ps. Do yourself a favor and go buy some herbs. They will amaze you...